The Practice of Sila

Sila: Purification Through Conduct

The Gradual Training begins with Sila, or virtue, the purification of the mind by abandoning harmful habits in thought, speech, and action. These behaviors, rooted in desire, aversion, and ignorance, create deep disturbances and obstruct progress on the path.

Today, many misunderstand the role of Sila in the Gradual Training. There is a common belief that developing virtue is only preliminary work, and that real progress begins only with advanced practices such as Jhana. This could not be further from the truth.

Cultivating Sila lies at the very heart of the Tathagata’s teachings. It directly addresses the three root causes of suffering: greed, aversion, and delusion. To overlook Sila is to neglect a crucial foundation of the Gradual Training, a mistake that can hinder the entire practice.

Sila: Prerequisites

Before beginning the Mundane Eightfold Path, we must first eliminate the most harmful types of bodily actions, killing, sexual misconduct, and stealing. We must also refrain from intoxication and from wrong speech that results in bodily harm to others. These actions generate karma that leads to rebirth in lower realms, such as the animal realm. In the Cūḷakammavibhaṅga Sutta (MN 135), the Tathagata explains how different wrong actions lead to suffering:

• Killing leads to a short lifespan in future rebirths.

• Stealing leads to poverty and misfortune.

• Sexual misconduct leads to being reborn in unstable relationships.

And what is right action? Abstaining from taking life, from stealing, & from sexual misconduct: This is called right action.

MN117

“And how is one made impure in three ways by bodily action? There is the case where a certain person takes life, is brutal, bloody-handed, devoted to killing & slaying, showing no mercy to living beings. He takes what is not given. He takes, in the manner of a thief, things in a village or a wilderness that belong to others and have not been given by them. He engages in sexual misconduct. He gets sexually involved with those who are protected by their mothers, their fathers, their brothers, their sisters, their relatives, or their Dhamma; those with husbands, those who entail punishments, or even those crowned with flowers by another man. This is how one is made impure in three ways by bodily action."

Sila: The Mundane Eightfold Path

In the context of the Mundane Eightfold Path, the practice of Sila helps us abandon the most harmful actions, those that create bad karma. These are behaviors that reduce us to operating on pure instinct, obsessing over food, sex, power, or social status.

When these coarse afflictions dominate the mind, they create a thick fog of delusion, making it impossible to notice and release more subtle mental disturbances. It is like trying to hear a whisper while standing next to a blaring speaker, you must first address the louder disruption.

Sila practice brings a fundamental shift in how we relate to others. We begin letting go of selfish desires and expectations. We work to abandon thoughts, speech, and actions that spring from greed, aversion, or hatred. By living virtuously and extending kindness, we create a protective shield for ourselves and for those around us, a shield that guards against the stress and dissatisfaction that arise when we engage with the world through wrong views, intentions, speech, actions, and livelihood.

Disciples, just as a cloth that is soiled and stained becomes impure in color when dyed with any dye, whether blue, yellow, red, or crimson, so too when the mind is defiled, a bad destination can be expected.

And just as a cloth that is clean and bright becomes pure in color when dyed with any dye, whether blue, yellow, red, or crimson, so too when the mind is undefiled, a good destination can be expected.

And what are the defilements of the mind?

Covetousness and unrighteous greed are defilements of the mind, ill will is a defilement of the mind, anger is a defilement of the mind, hostility is a defilement of the mind, denigration is a defilement of the mind, domineering is a defilement of the mind, envy is a defilement of the mind, avarice (an intense and selfish desire for wealth or material gain) is a defilement of the mind, deceit is a defilement of the mind, fraud is a defilement of the mind, stubbornness is a defilement of the mind, presumption is a defilement of the mind, conceit is a defilement of the mind, arrogance is a defilement of the mind, intoxication is a defilement of the mind, heedlessness (a disregard for potential consequences or the well-being of oneself or others) is a defilement of the mind.

MN7

Sila: The Supramundane Path

Beings are owners of their actions, heirs of their actions, born of their actions, related through their actions, and have their actions as their refuge. It is actions that distinguish beings as inferior and superior.

MN35

Within the Supramundane, or Noble Eightfold Path, Sila takes on a transformative role. Impure, harmful actions no longer manifest in body or speech. The effort shifts to purifying the mind, refining thoughts, until there is complete freedom from greed and ill-will toward others.

It is also the training of the mind so that one’s actions, speech, and way of living do not create entanglement in worldly distractions. It is the elevation of consciousness to a higher level, freeing oneself from attachment to the world.

Since the aim of the Gradual Training is liberation from rebirth, the focus is not on strengthening relationships, enhancing social interactions, or pursuing meaningful work. Instead, it is about simplifying life, letting go of relationships, habits, and lifestyles, and reducing existence to its essentials in order to fully dedicate oneself to practice.

With Right View, one sees that desires and expectations tied to relationships or livelihood can never provide lasting or reliable fulfillment. They are impermanent, unreliable, and inevitably lead to dissatisfaction. As understanding deepens, life is gradually simplified, relationships that hinder progress are released, and activities that disturb the mind or obstruct the path are avoided.

Sila: The Letting Go Of Desire And Aversion

Most people think of Sila, ethical conduct, as simply being a good person: not hurting others, telling the truth, not stealing. And while this is true on the surface, the Tathagata was pointing to something deeper.

Ethical conduct is not just about following rules. It is about letting go of greed, anger, and control in daily life. When we live ethically, we are training ourselves to stop chasing after what we want or pushing away what we do not like. We are learning to live in peace with things as they are.

At its core, Sila is the practice of renunciation in how we interact with others, not by trying to change them or the world around us, but by letting go of our own expectations and desires, and any aversion we feel toward the behavior of others.

Instead of wishing for people to act in ways that match our views, we come to see that these expectations are fabrications of the mind, without any solid foundation, formed from past causes and conditions.

Sila is also relinquishing the mistaken belief that others are the source of our anger, frustration, or irritation. It is easy to blame people or external circumstances for our stress and unhappiness, but in truth, these thoughts and emotions arise in our own minds. They stem from deeply ingrained patterns of perception and intention, rooted in clinging to the Five Aggregates.

Ethical conduct is not about pleasing anyone or trying to be holy. It is about training the mind to stop clinging, to stop needing things to be a certain way.

Good Will Requires Not Taking Things Personally

Letting go of desire and attachment to the world is impossible when we are caught in the grip of anger, whether at ourselves, others, or our circumstances. The path to goodwill and compassion begins with understanding that all beings, including ourselves, are bound by desire and clinging to the Five Aggregates. Until liberation, our actions will stem from desire, aversion, and ignorance.

Becoming angry or offended is a choice. We do not have to react unconsciously or let the mind be overtaken by anger, which only brings more suffering to ourselves and to others.

There is another way, one that does not involve being swept away by events. We can see that any negative reaction will cause long-term harm to our well-being and to those around us. Instead, we can choose compassion and understanding, knowing that everyone is affected by accumulated stress and dissatisfaction.

Anger does not come from people, situations, or things themselves. It arises from what we create in the mind, from the stories we tell ourselves about them. A picture forms, and we react as if that picture is reality. But it is only a shallow version of reality, shaped by countless unknowns we can never fully see.

Often, what we call anger is simply bottled, up stress expressing itself as aggression. With wisdom, we see that anger is empty of true substance. It is not rooted in the external world, but in our own inner stress and dissatisfaction.

Through contemplation, we realize that our perceptions, emotions, and thoughts are not always reliable. It is human nature to misinterpret, to jump to conclusions, and to miss seeing reality as it truly is.

Recognizing that we are all influenced by craving, aversion, and not knowing helps us avoid taking things personally. We understand that the actions of others, like our own, are shaped by experiences, causes, and conditions.

We can never fully know the struggles someone else has faced. Any judgment we form will be clouded by our limited understanding. Taking things personally is a misunderstanding, for no one is acting directly “against us.” Even harmful actions often arise from inner pain, from greed, anger, or ignorance.

Those who have faced abuse or hardship may develop destructive patterns or unhealthy ways of relating to the world. This is why compassion and goodwill are essential, not only for others, but also for ourselves.

When you see someone struggling or making unwise choices, remember that you too have made mistakes, perhaps in this life, perhaps in past lives. Instead of judging, it is wiser to remember that we are all shaped by the same forces of desire, aversion, and not knowing.

Judging Is The Cause Of Our Own Suffering

One of the key aims of practicing Sila is to abandon all judgments and accept people and circumstances as they are. When we judge others, we are in fact seeing our own Five Aggregates in action.

Our negative emotions, thoughts, or actions toward others are reflections of the preconceived notions stored in our memory, filtered through the lens of the Five Aggregates.

When feelings such as greed, anger, or aversion arise toward someone, what we are truly witnessing is our own mind projecting those tendencies through the Five Aggregates.

Judging Has Its Root In Conceit

One of the most difficult obstacles to overcome on the Gradual Training is conceit. Rooted in ignorance and attachment to the idea of a "self," conceit manifests as pride, arrogance, or self-centeredness, arising from experiences in the animal realm.

Conceit drives constant comparison to others, whether by feeling superior, inferior, or even equal in a way that reinforces a sense of self. This habit of comparison causes the mind to judge others, leading to entitlement, dissatisfaction, and division.

It ties our sense of worth to how we measure up to others, creating a cycle of judgment and separation. Whether the ego is inflated or diminished by these comparisons, conceit keeps us trapped in suffering, perpetuating desires and aversions. This, in turn, leads to wrong speech, wrong actions, and wrong livelihood.

The roots of conceit trace back to survival instincts from the animal realm, where social hierarchies were essential. For example:

• In wolf packs, the dominant alpha pair controls resources and leads the group.

• The term “pecking order” originates from chickens, where dominant birds enforce rank through pecking.

• Among chimpanzees, the alpha male secures food and mating rights through strength and alliances.

While hierarchical thinking was necessary for survival in the animal realm, it no longer serves a wholesome purpose in the human realm. Conceit, whether expressed as pride or arrogance, becomes an obstacle that must be overcome to reach higher states of being.

To progress on the path, we must let go of judgments about what is good or bad in the world. Practicing Sila involves seeing everyone as equals and abandoning the habit of comparing ourselves to others. Whether through feelings of superiority or inferiority, conceit keeps us bound. By releasing the need to place ourselves above or below anyone else, we take a significant step toward a more peaceful and liberated state of mind.

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Blame

At a gross level, the self-sabotaging nature of the ego, rooted in conceit, drives people to blame others for their negative experiences. This prevents recognition that the true cause lies within their own minds. For instance, one might argue with others, insisting on being right and declaring them wrong. This behavior stems from arrogance, becoming pushy and forceful, and expecting others to conform to one’s way of thinking.

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Wanting respect

The ego may also cause us to perceive others in a degrading or disrespectful manner, or create expectations about how we should be treated. The mind might think, “I deserve respect; who are you to treat me this way?” This reflects a sense of superiority rooted in pride.

There are more subtle ways in which conceit may manifest:

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Unsolicited advice

Offering unsolicited advice is another manifestation of conceit. This occurs when the ego takes control, pushing one to impose views on others. Instead of acting impulsively, it is important to cultivate humility and restrain the mind. When free from craving or the desire for others to act a certain way, it is understood that their mistakes are theirs to bear. Even with good intentions, unsolicited advice is often unwelcome and may lead others to blame us for interfering.

If the actions of others could cause harm or have an impact, the wiser approach is to quietly step away without pointing out their errors or justifying the decision. Attempting to correct or prove oneself right stems from arrogance and pride, not wisdom. Letting go of this need maintains peace and clarity in the mind.

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Lifestyle

One might develop a certain lifestyle and expect others to follow the example, leading to frustration, anger, or agitation when they do not. For instance, the mind may take pride in wholesome practices, such as speaking skillfully, meditating, or living in a particular way, and then judge others for not doing the same.

This tendency to compare fosters arrogance and disrupts harmonious relationships, as the ego begins to expect others to act in alignment with one’s own values. True understanding arises when it is recognized that everyone lives according to their own choices and conditions, and there is no need for comparison or judgment. By letting go of these expectations, we open the way to see people as they truly are.

A liberated person has released all aversion toward others, as well as cravings and expectations about how others should act or be. They are free from the need for others to change.

If someone dislikes us, it is understood that their feelings reflect their own mental state, not our intrinsic worth. It is unwise to adjust behavior merely to gain approval, as that would stem from craving and attachment. Liberation lies in freedom from the need for external validation.

At its core, the issue is that a strong ego fosters closed-mindedness, creating the illusion of already knowing everything. This rigid mindset becomes a barrier, preventing deeper understanding of the Dhamma and obscuring the path to true insight.

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Establishing Right View

As we approach any situation, it is essential to have Right View, understanding that interactions with others often carry inherent challenges. Because clinging to judgments or expectations leads to distress and dissatisfaction, mindfulness is important.

Awareness of thoughts, speech, and actions allows constant reflection on whether they are skillful and wholesome. This is why the Gradual Training begins with Right Speech, Right Action, and Right Livelihood; these address the most harmful tendencies while creating space to pause and evaluate intentions. Mindfulness intercepts harmful impulses before they manifest into harmful words or deeds.

Practicing Sila requires careful attention to both inner and outer behavior. We must regularly ask: “Why am I thinking this?” “Why am I saying this?” “Why am I doing this?” If the potential outcome could cause harm to ourselves or others, the approach must be adjusted or the action abandoned.

When interacting with others, mindfulness helps notice tension or tightness in the mind or body, subtle signs of clinging to the interaction, whether through expectation or aversion. Such clinging often leads to unskillful interactions, leaving behind lingering thoughts, distress, or dissatisfaction.

These moments become opportunities for contemplation, allowing us to correct our approach and ensure future interactions are more skillful, free of lasting disturbances to the mind.

Through disciplined self-restraint, no unskillful thoughts, words, or actions draw us into entanglement with the external world. Success in self-discipline brings a profound sense of confidence and peace, offering a depth of inner calm unlike anything previously experienced.

Precepts Are Not Rules

It is important to see virtue and the precepts not as rules, which would be a form of clinging to views or attributes, but as a continual practice.

History offers countless examples of individuals who believed themselves to be “good people” yet justified wars and immense suffering in the name of “good.” For this reason, lying, stealing, killing, drinking, and sexual misconduct should not be viewed as fixed concepts or mere attributes. Their application must be skillfully adapted to the countless circumstances life may present.

Practicing virtue offers protection from becoming entangled in worldly matters. It allows the renunciation of the world without resentment. Virtue is also one of the most effective tools for training the mind, as it requires constant mindfulness to recognize when actions, our own or others’, are influenced by greed, aversion, or ignorance.

Virtue serves as a valuable measure of progress on the path. By reflecting on the degree of clinging, aversion, or ignorance that arises in challenging situations or difficult interactions, progress can be assessed.

For example, how could patience be developed without encountering difficult or irritating individuals? It is through others pushing our “buttons” or testing our tolerance that we uncover the greed, aversion, and clinging to expectations still present within us.

And what, are the qualities that make one a contemplative, that make one liberated? We will be endowed with shame (at the idea of wrong-doing) & compunction (for the consequences of wrong-doing): That’s how you should train yourselves.

MN39

Right Speech

And what is the right speech that is accompanied by defilements, partakes of merit, and ripens in attachment?

Abstaining from false speech, abstaining from slanderous speech, abstaining from harsh speech, abstaining from frivolous chatter: this is the right speech that is accompanied by defilements, partakes of merit, and ripens in attachment.

MN117

And what is the right speech that is noble, undefiled, supramundane, a factor of the path?

It is the abstaining, refraining, abstinence, avoidance by a noble one whose mind is noble, whose mind is undefiled, who is fully possessed of the noble path, and who is developing the noble path, from the four kinds of verbal misconduct.

MN117

And how is one made impure in four ways by verbal action? There is the case where a certain person tells lies. When he has been called to a town meeting, a group meeting, a gathering of his relatives, his guild, or of the royalty [i.e., a royal court proceeding], if he is asked as a witness, ‘Come & tell, good man, what you know’: If he doesn’t know, he says, ‘I know.’ If he does know, he says, ‘I don’t know.’ If he hasn’t seen, he says, ‘I have seen.’ If he has seen, he says, ’I haven’t seen.’ Thus he consciously tells lies for his own sake, for the sake of another, or for the sake of a certain reward.

He engages in divisive speech. What he has heard here he tells there to break those people apart from these people here. What he has heard there he tells here to break these people apart from those people there. Thus breaking apart those who are united and stirring up strife between those who have broken apart, he loves factionalism, delights in factionalism, enjoys factionalism, speaks things that create factionalism.

He engages in harsh speech. He speaks words that are insolent, cutting, mean to others, reviling others, provoking anger and destroying concentration. He engages in idle chatter. He speaks out of season, speaks what isn’t factual, what isn’t in accordance with the goal, the Dhamma, & the Vinaya, words that are not worth treasuring. This is how one is made impure in four ways by verbal action.

If his mind inclines to speaking, he thinks: I will not engage in talk that is low, vulgar, common, ignoble, unconnected to the goal, not leading to disenchantment, dispassion, cessation, calm, direct knowledge, enlightenment, Nibbana, such as talk of kings, robbers, ministers, armies, dangers, wars, food, drink, clothing, beds, garlands, scents, relatives, vehicles, villages, towns, cities, countries, women, heroes, street talk, well talk, talk of the dead, miscellaneous talk, talk of being, talk of the sea, and various kinds of talk like this.

Thus he is fully aware there. And if his mind inclines to speaking, he thinks: I will engage in talk that is connected to the goal, leading to disenchantment, dispassion, cessation, calm, direct knowledge, enlightenment, Nibbana, such as talk of few desires, contentment, seclusion, non-entanglement, arousing energy, virtue, concentration, wisdom, liberation, knowledge and vision of liberation.

Thus he is fully aware there. If his mind inclines to thoughts, he thinks: I will not think thoughts that are low, vulgar, common, ignoble, unconnected to the goal, not leading to disenchantment, dispassion, cessation, calm, direct knowledge, enlightenment, Nibbana, such as thoughts of sensuality, ill-will, and harm.

Thus he is fully aware there. And he thinks: I will think thoughts that are noble and lead outwards, leading to the complete destruction of suffering, such as thoughts of renunciation, non-ill-will, and non-harm.

MN122

Wrong Speech

False Speech

The primary issue with false speech is that when we deceive others, we are also more likely to deceive ourselves. How can the mind be purified if it has been convinced that unwholesome actions are wholesome, that no harm has been caused, or that there is no need to further develop virtue?

False speech carries real consequences, leading to unwholesome results. Habitual liars must constantly keep track of the details of their lies, what was told to one person versus another, creating a persistent mental burden. This background tension prevents the mind from experiencing true peace and joy.

On a deeper level, false speech hinders the ability to penetrate the Dhamma and see the mind clearly. Dishonesty, whether toward oneself or others, clouds the understanding of truth and impedes progress on the path.

Idle Speech

Idle speech refers to purposeless chatter, often driven by a craving for attention and the desire to be heard. By practicing restraint and reducing idle talk, mental noise and disturbances are minimized, creating space for clarity and mindfulness.

Slander and Gossip

Slander or gossip involves damaging someone’s reputation out of ego or craving. This arises from the mistaken belief that making someone else look bad will somehow elevate one’s own position. In reality, harming others does nothing to improve one’s circumstances. Instead, it traps the mind in a cycle of unwholesome actions.

Once engaged in gossip, there may be a compulsion to justify it through false speech or additional stories, further deepening entanglement.

Harsh Speech

Harsh speech often arises when others fail to meet expectations, especially in close relationships where attachments are strongest, such as with family or partners. It is particularly challenging to avoid harsh words with those we care about, as they are often held to higher standards of behavior. Conversely, kindness is easier to maintain with those to whom there is no attachment, as expectations are not imposed upon them.

To overcome harsh speech, the craving and attachment at its root must be addressed. This requires training the mind to speak gently, and being mindful of tone, tempo, and word choice. It is a gradual process demanding patience, restraint, and consistent practice in daily interactions. Through such effort, speech can be cultivated to reflect compassion and wisdom.

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Think

Delson

So, there's a good acronym that you can use to understand right speech, and that is THINK. THINK before you speak.

"T" is for timeliness; is it the right time to say what you want to say? Sometimes it's not the appropriate time. If it's not the proper time to talk, don't proceed. The proper time involves not interrupting people, ensuring your mind is ready to talk, and making sure the other person's mind is ready to talk.

If you're angry, frustrated, or agitated, it's not the proper time to talk. Similarly, if the other person is angry, frustrated, or agitated, it's not the proper time to talk. You can't fix their anger because what's causing their anger is their craving, desire, and attachment. They have to fix it themselves by letting go of their craving.

"H" is for honesty; do you know what you're going to say is true? If you don't know, you could say, "I'm not sure." I'm not sure if this is true or not, but this is what has been told to me.

"I" is for intention. What is the intention behind what you want to say? Is it a wholesome intention or an unwholesome intention? Is it to bring people up or to bring people down? What is the intention?

"N" is for necessity. Is it necessary for you to say what you have to say? Is it for their benefit, your benefit, or the benefit of both?

Ensuring that your speech is beneficial means being clear, concise, and precise in your communication, rather than focusing solely on the topic. The key is to avoid idle or frivolous speech and to focus on communicating effectively, ensuring your words have purpose and contribute to the conversation.

"K" is kindness. Can you infuse whatever you're going to say with kindness?

Someone said, "What if we have to reprimand someone? What if we have to scold our children? What if we have to give a talking to our employees?" They said you can shout at them, you can be stern with them, but can you do it with goodwill? Because the speech can be harsh, but it can also be beneficial. The speech could sound harsh, ironic, or sarcastic, but it's getting through to the person. The intention behind it is not to harm the person, but to motivate them to come out of their procrastination or bad behavior.

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Unskillful Mental Action

“And how is one made impure in three ways by mental action? There is the case where a certain person is covetous. He covets the belongings of others, thinking, ‘O, that what belongs to others would be mine!’ He bears ill will, corrupt in the resolves of his heart: ‘May these beings be killed or cut apart or crushed or destroyed, or may they not exist at all!’ He has wrong view, is warped in the way he sees things: ‘There is nothing given, nothing offered, nothing sacrificed. There is no fruit or result of good or bad actions. There is no this world, no next world, no mother, no father, no spontaneously reborn beings; no contemplatives or brahmans who, faring rightly & practicing rightly, proclaim this world & the next after having directly known & realized it for themselves.’ This is how one is made impure in three ways by mental action.

Right Livelihood

And what is right livelihood?

There is the case where a disciple of the noble ones, having abandoned dishonest livelihood, keeps his life going with right livelihood: This is called right livelihood.

SN45.8

“And what more is to be done? Our livelihood will be pure, clear & open, unbroken & restrained. We will not exalt ourselves nor disparage others on account of that pure livelihood: That’s how you should train yourselves. Now the thought may occur to you, We are endowed with shame & compunction. Our bodily conduct is pure. Our verbal conduct… our mental conduct is pure. Our livelihood is pure. That much is enough, that much means we’re done, so that the goal of our contemplative state has been reached. There’s nothing further to be done, and you may rest content with just that. So I tell you. I exhort you. Don’t let those of you who seek the contemplative state fall away from the goal of the contemplative state when there is more to be done."

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The Dhamma: Ourselves As Our Own Refuge

Ānanda, you should all live with yourselves as your island, yourselves as your refuge, with no other as your refuge; with the Dhamma as your island, the Dhamma as your refuge, with no other as your refuge.

DN16

The following article has been adapted from a talk by Allan Watts:

The path to liberation is one we must walk alone, not because we reject the world, but from the realization that relationships, in their essence, are futile.

Most connections are bound together by shared illusions, collective views, desires, and dreams. People do not seek truth; they seek comfort, familiarity, and reassurance that their way of living is right, their beliefs are correct, and their choices are justified.

Friendships, too, are built on desires. People long for entertainment, reassurance, and distractions from their own emptiness.

But for those of us who have seen through these illusions, we can no longer belong for the sake of belonging. We are no longer intoxicated by the desire for status, gossip, or the relentless pursuit of meaningless pleasures. Small talk feels empty; gossip feels like noise. The constant struggle for validation, success, and approval appears empty.

We no longer engage in relationships merely to fill time, silence, or emptiness. We are not afraid of solitude, for we understand that it is not loneliness but freedom. Instead, we seek tranquility in solitude, in quiet places. It is not that we wish to be alone. Rather, it is the natural consequence of understanding, of seeing through the layers of ingrained conditioning that bind most people to the illusions of existence and the need for companionship.

There is an unspoken rule in human relationships: to belong, you must conform. You must play your part; you must engage in the shared reality that the group has created. This is why those of us who realize this have fewer and fewer friends.

We don't judge people for their choices; there is no anger, no frustration, no superiority, only an understanding of why people cling to their beliefs, why they hold on to their routines, and why they seek distractions. We understand that most are simply afraid of letting go, for fear that all the views they have built their identity upon might crumble with nothing to replace them.

The more we understand this, the less we seek validation in others and the fewer connections we maintain, instead seeking refuge in ourselves.

A Basic Order In Life

Upāsikā Kee Nanayon

The most important thing in the daily life of a person who practices the Dhamma is to keep to the precepts (sila) and to care for them more than you care for your life, to maintain them in a way that the Noble Ones would praise. If you don’t have this sort of regard for the precepts, then the vices that run counter to them will become your everyday habits.

Practitioners who see that the breaking of a precept is something trifling and insignificant spoil their entire practice. If you can’t practice even these basic, beginning levels of the Dhamma, it will ruin all the qualities you’ll be trying to develop in the later stages of the practice. This is why you have to stick to the precepts as your basic foundation and to keep a lookout for anything in your behavior that falls short of them. Only then will you be able to benefit from your practice for the sake of eliminating your sufferings with greater and greater precision.

If you simply act in line with the cravings and desires swelling out of the sense of self that has no fear of the fires of defilement, you’ll have to suffer both in this life and in lives to come. If you don’t have a sense of conscience, a sense of shame at the thought of doing shoddy actions, and a fear of their consequences, your practice can only deteriorate day by day.

When people live without any order to their lives, without even the basic order that comes with the precepts, there’s no way they can attain purity. We have to examine ourselves: In what ways at present are we breaking our precepts in thought, word, or deed? If we simply let things pass and aren’t intent on examining ourselves to see the harm that comes from breaking the precepts and following the defilements, our practice can only sink lower and lower. Instead of extinguishing defilements and suffering, it will simply succumb to the power of craving. If this is the case, what damage is done? How much freedom does the mind lose? These are things we have to learn for ourselves. When we do, our practice of self-inspection in higher matters will get solid results and won’t go straying off into nonsense. For this reason, whenever craving or defilement shows itself in any way in any of our actions, we have to catch hold of it and examine what’s going on inside the mind.

Once we’re aware with real mindfulness and discernment, we’ll see the poison and power of the defilements. We’ll feel disgust for them and want to extinguish them as much as we can. But if we use our defilements to examine things, they’ll say everything is fine. The same as when we’re predisposed to liking a certain person: Even if he acts badly, we say he’s good. If he acts wrongly, we say he’s right. This is the way the defilements are. They say that everything we do is right and throw all the blame on other people, other things. So we can’t trust it, this sense of “self” in which craving and defilement lord it over the heart. We can’t trust it at all.

The violence of defilement, or this sense of self, is like that of a fire burning a forest or burning a house. It won’t listen to anyone, but simply keeps burning away, burning away inside of you. And that’s not all. It’s always out to set fire to other people, too.

The fires of suffering, the fires of defilement consume all those who don’t contemplate themselves or who don’t have any means of practice for putting them out. People of this sort can’t withstand the power of the defilements, can’t help but follow along wherever their cravings lead them. The moment they’re provoked, they follow in line with these things. This is why the sensations in the mind when provoked by defilement are very important, for they can lead you to do things with no sense of shame, no fear for the consequences of doing the unwholesome at all, which means that you’re sure to break your precepts.

Once you’ve followed the defilements, they feel really satisfied, like arsonists who feel gleeful when they’ve set other people’s places on fire. As soon as you’ve called somebody something vile or spread some malicious gossip, the defilements really like it. Your sense of self really likes it, because acting in line with defilement like that gives it real satisfaction. As a consequence, it keeps filling itself with the vices that run counter to the precepts, falling into hell in this very lifetime without realizing it. So take a good look at the violence the defilements do to you, to see whether you should keep socializing with them, to see whether you should regard them as your friends or your enemies.

As soon as any wrong views or ideas come out of the mind, we have to analyze them and turn around so as to catch sight of the facts within us. No matter what issues the defilements raise, focusing on the faults of others, we have to turn around and look within. When we realize our own faults and can come to our senses: That’s where our study of the Dhamma, our practice of the Dhamma, shows its real rewards.

Sila: Purification Of The Mind

The essence of the Gradual Training is the purification of the mind, letting go of desire, aversion, and delusion. This purification comes to fruition through cultivating Right View, Right Intention, Right Action, Right Speech, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, and Right Mindfulness, ultimately gathering and concentrating the mind for the purpose of eliminating the taints.

To accomplish this, the mind must be developed into a stream of pure mental energy, free from karmic disturbances, capable of penetrating and destroying defilements. The purpose of the Gradual Training is to refine the mind’s volitional formations, or mental energy, known as karma. Purifying the mind requires ceasing the generation of unwholesome karmic energy while actively cultivating wholesome energy, until eventually no new karma is created.

Volitional formations, which are unfulfilled desires and intentions, carry power; they are a form of mental energy. When scattered, confused, and weakened by the many concerns of ordinary life, this energy gives rise to unwholesome views, intentions, actions, speech, livelihood, and effort, leading to an inability to remain mindful or concentrate the mind. To counter this fragmentation, the mind must be purified into a single, focused stream of potent mental energy, directed entirely toward the destruction of the taints, the afflictions that bind us to Samsara.

The Tathagata says a person is truly pure when they are free of anger, delusion, and craving, and do not harm others. They have abandoned falsehood and greed and have no attachment to the body as “self.” They refrain from harming any being, from stealing or lying, from sexual misconduct, and from intoxicants.

They maintain purity in speech and livelihood: they speak truthfully without deceit, avoid divisive speech that causes conflict, refrain from harsh language, and do not engage in gossip or idle chatter.

A wise person sees things as they truly are, recognizing the impermanence, suffering, and non-self nature of reality, and does not cling to worldly things. This is the insight that leads to liberation, the wisdom of an enlightened being.

Goodwill: The Purification Of Ill-Will

Since intention is the force behind mental energy, which manifests as bodily, mental, and verbal formations, one of the best ways to purify the mind is by extinguishing ill will and its more subtle form, aversion. Ill will and aversion hinder the mind’s ability to settle and concentrate; they obstruct the path to liberation. Without the practice of Mettā, or goodwill, the mind remains clouded by disturbances.

Ill will, being volitional and intentional, has consequences in the present and manifests as future disturbances when conditions are right. The more powerful the ill will toward oneself or others, the more it lingers as obstructive background energy, preventing a peaceful, clear, and collected mind.

While past intentions, thoughts, or actions cannot be changed, present perceptions and intentions can. Negative thoughts toward others are a reflection of one’s own lack of understanding and wisdom, and this prevents clear seeing.

Mettā, or goodwill, is the medicine, the antidote, to ill will. It clears mental blocks and supports a calm, collected mind. It brings happiness, allows the truth to be seen, and leads toward freedom from suffering. Mettā is more than just wishing others well; it is a core practice for purifying the mind.

Without goodwill, true understanding is impossible, as views, thoughts, and actions remain clouded by negative emotions such as greed and hatred. Developing goodwill helps in recognizing that all beings face suffering, aging, sickness, and death.

Goodwill allows the mind to see from all perspectives, not just its own, and in doing so, gains wisdom.

Mettā: Supramundane Goodwill

On the Supramundane path, goodwill must be developed to transcend personal relationships and preferences. It must extend to all beings in all realms of existence, free of judgment and without exception.

Such goodwill must not depend on the actions or worthiness of others; it must be unconditional. Goodwill protects from ignorance and guards against unskillful behavior, and through it, wisdom and understanding are gained. This is the purification of the mind.

The Tathagata says there are numerous benefits from developing goodwill: you sleep easily; you wake easily; you have no unwholesome dreams; you are dear to human beings and non-human beings; the devas protect you; fire, poison, and weapons do not harm you; you gain concentration quickly; your complexion becomes bright; you die unconfused, and if you do not attain higher realization, you are bound for the Brahmā worlds.

This is what should be done by one who is skilled in goodness and who knows the path of peace:

Let them be able, upright, and straightforward, gentle in speech, humble, and not conceited. Contented and easily supported, with few duties and a simple way of life; Peaceful, calm, wise, and skillful, not proud and demanding in nature. Let them not do even the slightest thing that the wise would later reprove.

May all beings be happy and safe, may their hearts be filled with joy. Whatever living beings there may be, whether they are weak or strong, omitting none, the great or the mighty, medium, short, or small, the seen and the unseen, those living near and far away, those born and yet to be born:

May all beings be at ease! Let none deceive another, or despise any being in any state. Let none through anger or ill will wish harm upon another.

Just as a mother would protect with her life, her only child, so should we protect our goodwill for all living beings.

Radiating goodwill over the entire world, spreading upwards to the skies, and downwards to the depths, outward and unbounded, free from hatred and ill will.

Whether standing or walking, seated or lying down, as long as one is awake, one should sustain this mindfulness:

This is said to be the sublime abiding. Not holding to fixed views, endowed with virtue and insight, having put aside attachment to sensory pleasures, one will surely never be reborn in the cycles of suffering.

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Goodwill: Pre-Requisites Before Practicing Mettā

Thus above, below, and all around, everywhere and in every respect, he pervades the entire world with a mind imbued with goodwill, abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility, and without ill will.

He pervades one direction with a mind imbued with compassion... with a mind imbued with empathetic joy... with a mind imbued with equanimity, likewise the second, likewise the third, likewise the fourth.

Thus above, below, and all around, everywhere and in every respect, he pervades the entire world with a mind imbued with equanimity, abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility, and without ill will. This is called the boundless liberation of mind.

SN41.7

To effectively practice Mettā, the mind must first be purified of gross afflictions. This means letting go of unwholesome behaviors that manifest in thoughts, speech, and actions.

We begin by honestly looking at ourselves, asking: Have the inner qualities necessary to genuinely offer goodwill to all beings been cultivated?

• Do I still intentionally harm living beings?

• Do I still engage in stealing, even in subtle ways?

• Am I still involved in sexual misconduct or misusing my sensual desires?

• Do I still lie, use harsh or divisive words, or engage in frivolous chatter?

• It is important to reflect on daily, real-life experiences to answer these questions.

To cleanse unwholesome actions and words, whenever awareness of them arises, a firm intention is made not to engage in them again.

By continually purifying physical and verbal behavior, the mind is also purified. This increases receptivity to the Tathagata’s teachings and supports the development of a higher form of sīla, or moral conduct.

Beyond actions and speech, the mind must be cleansed of negative qualities that block the growth of goodwill. Tendencies such as looking down on others, disparaging them, feeling envy, or being stingy must be removed.

Politeness in actions and words should also be examined: Are others treated as equals? Is behavior impolite or dismissive? Correcting such conduct leads to greater gentleness, adaptability, and openness.

Ill will toward others must be abandoned. Hostility and grudges can be released by reflecting that all beings, including oneself, are subject to aging, sickness, and death.

To cultivate limitless goodwill, attachment to groups must also be relinquished. Strong identification with factions, nationalities, or any collective identity—whether family, work colleagues, race, gender, sexual identity, political groups, sports teams, or other associations—entangles the mind in worldly delusion born of ignorance. These self-imposed boundaries limit the cultivation of limitless goodwill.

The actual practice of goodwill can begin once core virtues are firmly established. The instructions are clear: extend goodwill to every being, without exception. This includes all creatures, whether weak or strong, long or short, large or small, seen or unseen.

Just as a mother would protect her only child with her own life, goodwill toward all beings is to be cultivated and guarded, without exception or judgment. From this foundation, the same non-judging quality of goodwill is radiated in all directions, encompassing every living being.

Goodwill is extended to beings in all directions, with the recognition that all beings, including oneself, are caught in the conditions of saṃsāra—the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. This includes all living beings, whether seen or unseen, near or far.

Mettā: Goodwill Throughout The Day

It is important to develop goodwill throughout the day in all daily activities. Goodwill does not need to be the main focus; it can be a subtle quality in the way everything is perceived while moving through tasks.

The practice of goodwill becomes especially valuable during interactions with others. While listening, anchoring part of the awareness in goodwill enhances the depth and quality of attention. When it is time to speak, responding from this foundation of goodwill brings a calming influence to any situation.

The impact of this practice extends beyond human interactions. People, animals, and all beings naturally respond to the positive presence that arises when goodwill is sustained. This quiet radiance of goodwill subtly yet meaningfully shapes the surrounding atmosphere.

Pure & Simple

Upāsikā Kee Nanayon

The first requirement when you come to practice is that you need to be the sort of person who loves the truth, and you need to possess endurance to do what’s true. Only then will your practice get anywhere. Otherwise, it all turns into failure and you go back to being a slave to your defilements and cravings just as before.

When you don’t contemplate yourself, how much suffering do you cause for yourself? And how much do you cause for others? These are things we should contemplate as much as we can. If we don’t, we keep trying to get, get, get. We don’t try to let go, to put things aside, to make any sacrifices at all. We just keep trying to get, for the more we get, the more we want.

If you’re greedy and stingy, then even if you have loads of money the Buddha says you’re poor: poor in noble treasures, poor in the treasures of the mind. Even if you have lots of external wealth, when you die it all goes to other people, it turns into common property, but you yourself are left poor in virtue, poor in the Dhamma.

The mind without its own home, a mind without the Dhamma as its home, has to live with the defilements. This defilement arises and the mind goes running after it. As soon as it disappears, that one arises over there, and the mind goes running after that. Because the mind has no dwelling of its own, it has to keep running wild all over the place.

Practicing to put an end to defilement and suffering is a high level of practice, so you first have to clear the ground and put it in good order. Don’t think that you can practice without any preparation…. If you live for your appetites, all you can think of is getting things for the sake of your appetites. If you don’t develop a sense of contentment or a sense of shame on the beginning level, it’ll be hard to practice the higher levels.

The important part of the practice lies in contemplating. If you don’t contemplate, discernment won’t arise. The Buddha taught us to contemplate and test things to the point where we can clearly know for ourselves. Only then will we have a proper refuge. He never taught us to take refuge in things we ourselves can’t see or do.

If you truly want to gain release from suffering, you have to practice truly, you have to make a true effort. You have to let go, starting with outward things and working inward. You have to free yourself from the delusion that falls for delicious allures of every kind.

The important point in letting go is to see the drawbacks of what you’re letting go. Only then can you let it go once and for all. If you don’t see its drawbacks, you’ll still be attached and will miss having it around.

If you’re going to let go of anything, you first have to see its drawbacks. If you just tell yourself to let go, let go, the mind won’t easily obey. You really have to see the drawbacks of the thing you’re holding onto, and then the mind will let go, of its own accord. It’s like grabbing hold of fire: When you feel the heat, you let go of your own accord and will never dare grasp it again.

It’s hard to see the drawbacks of sensual passion, but even harder to see the drawbacks of more subtle things, like your sense of self.

On the beginning level of the practice you have to learn how to control yourself in the area of your words and deeds, in other words, on the level of virtue, so that you can keep your words and deeds stable, calm and restrained. In this way, the mind won’t follow the power of the crude defilements. When violent urges arise, you stop them first with your powers of endurance. After you’ve been able to endure for a while, your insight will gain the strength it needs to develop a sense of right and wrong, and in this way you’ll see the worth of endurance, that it really is a good thing.

When you do good, let it be good in line with nature. Don’t latch onto the thought that you’re good. If you get attached to the idea that you’re good, it will give rise to lots of other attachments.

When a mind without pride or conceit gets a scolding, it shrinks back like a cow hit by a stick. Your sense of self will disappear right before your eyes. A good cow, even it sees only the shadow of the whip or the stick, stays still and composed, ready to do quickly what it’s told. A meditator who can reduce her pride and conceit is sure to make progress and will have nothing heavy to weigh down her mind. The mind will be still and empty, free from any attachment to me or mine. This is how the mind grows empty.

If you’re the sort of person who’s open and honest, you’ll find your window for disbanding suffering and defilement right where you’re honest with yourself, right where you come to your senses. You don’t have to go explaining high level Dhamma to anyone. All you need is the ordinary level of being honest with yourself about the sufferings and drawbacks of your actions, so that you can put a stop to them, so that you develop a sense of wariness, a sense of shame. That’s much better than talking about high-level Dhamma but then being heedless, complacent, and shameless.

When you look back to the past, you see that it’s all an affair of your own heedlessness. Even though you knew the Buddha’s teachings and were able to explain them correctly, still the heart and mind were in a state of heedlessness. Actually, when people know a lot of Dhamma and can show off a lot of their knowledge, they can be more heedless than people who know only a little. Those who’ve never read Dhamma books tend to be more heedful, for they’re more modest and know that they need to read their own minds all the time. Those who’ve read a lot of books or heard a lot of talks tend to get complacent. And in this way they become heedless and disrespectful of the Dhamma.

We have to figure out how to use our own mindfulness and discernment to look inwardly at all times, for no one else can know these things or see these things for us. We have to know for ourselves.

When things are weak and watery, they flow away. When they’re solid they don’t flow. When the mind is weak and devoid of strength, it’s always ready to flow away like water. But when the mind is endowed with mindfulness and discernment, when it’s solid and true in its effort, it can withstand the flow of the defilements.

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Sila And Right View: The Dangers Of Hatred, Lust, And Delusion

The cultivation of Right View is the cornerstone of the Noble Eightfold Path and is supported by the practice of Sīla. The Tathagata elucidates six factors that, when relinquished, pave the way for the attainment of Right View:

1. Identity view
2. Doubt
3. Attachment to rites and rituals
4. Lust that leads to the lower realms
5. Hatred that leads to the lower realms
6. Delusion that leads to the lower realms

Disciples, by abandoning six things, one is capable of realizing the perfection of view. What are the six? Identity view, doubt, attachment to rites and rituals, lust leading to lower realms, hatred leading to lower realms, delusion leading to lower realms.

AN6.89

While the first three mental defilements relate to wrong views, the latter three: lust, hatred, and delusion, are directly connected to unwholesome conduct and are thus most closely related to Sīla. These mental defilements not only hinder wisdom but also serve as powerful causes of rebirth in the lower realms if they dominate one’s actions, particularly at the moment of death.

1. Hatred That Leads to the Lower Realms

Hatred is one of the three unwholesome roots and is characterized by ill will, resentment, and a desire to harm. When such mental states are acted upon, verbally or physically, they generate heavy karma, often leading to rebirth in hell realms or as angry spirits.

The Tathagata warns:

Even if bandits were to sever you savagely limb by limb with a two-handled saw, he among you who gave rise to a mind of hate towards them would not be carrying out my teaching.

MN21

This extreme example illustrates that the final mental state, especially at the moment of death, holds tremendous karmic weight. If one dies with hatred in the heart, it may overwhelm a lifetime of good deeds and result in unfortunate rebirth.

2. Lust That Leads to the Lower Realms

Lust here refers not merely to desire but to obsessive sensual craving, a mind continually burning with thirst for pleasures. While lust does not necessarily appear harmful externally, when it becomes a dominant habitual force, it can lead to rebirth in realms of insatiable hunger, such as that of the hungry ghosts or even the animal realm, where beings are governed by instinct and desire.

As the Tathagata explains, lust binds beings to the sensual realms and keeps them circling in saṁsāra. It is not just the act of desire, but being consumed by it that causes downfall.

3. Delusion That Leads to the Lower Realms

Delusion is the ignorance of the Four Noble Truths, misunderstanding karma, or holding wrong views, especially the belief that actions have no consequences. When delusion is deep and habitual, it leads to careless actions, denial of moral law, and dangerous views that support harmful behaviors.

The Tathagata emphasizes:

Disciples, I do not see even one other thing that causes as much harm as wrong view.

AN1.316

Delusion causes rebirth in animal realms (due to ignorance) or hell realms (due to wrong view guiding action).

Karma is not arithmetic, but contextual. The Tathagata offers a critical simile:

If a person drops a lump of salt into a small cup of water, it becomes undrinkable. But if that lump is dropped into the Ganges River, it has no effect.

AN3.101

This implies that a single act of hatred or delusion can be significantly reduced by a well-trained mind imbued with virtue, generosity, and wisdom. However, when the mind is unguarded and filled with repeated unwholesome thoughts, even seemingly insignificant actions can have profound and detrimental karmic consequences.

The final moment of consciousness before death holds immense significance. The Tathagata elucidates that beings can be reborn in hell not only as a result of a lifetime of evil deeds, but also due to an unwholesome mind-state at the moment of death.

Some beings, despite having done good deeds, are reborn in hell because of their state of mind at the time of death.

MN136

A person who has lived a virtuous life but dies in panic, hatred, or delusion may accumulate karmic weight so heavy that it leads to a lower rebirth.

For disciples training in virtue, this carries profound implications:

Hatred must be abandoned not only in action but even in thought. Cultivating mettā, loving-kindness, serves as a direct antidote.

Craving must be restrained, particularly toward sense pleasures. Practicing contentment and mindfulness of the body weakens lust.

Delusion must be dispelled through Right View, study, and practice. Listening to the true Dhamma and reflecting deeply is essential.

When these defilements are restrained and replaced with their wholesome counterparts, one’s Right View becomes strong, leading to noble conduct, Right Concentration, and ultimately, liberation.

The six factors that obstruct Right View are not merely intellectual errors, but deep karmic tendencies that, if unexamined and unchecked, can weigh down the mind and lead to lower rebirth. In the practice of sīla, abandoning hatred, lust, and delusion is not simply ethical—it is existential.

To end one’s life with a heart free of ill will, even when faced with death by violence, is to truly carry out the Tathagata’s teaching, planting the seed for a fortunate rebirth, or even Nibbāna.

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Sutta Study